Bad Blogger!!

I guess maybe I have to get into the groove of blogging. I'm also so tired all the time and would much rather lay on the couch and veg then get on the computer and think of something to say. But since my son has decided not to take a nap today and is currently upstairs protesting. He's been up there for almost an hour and a half "playing" in his crib. While it's great that he will just kinda chill in his tented crib (he started climbing out around Christmas) it also doesn't let me fully relax until he is asleep. So I believe my afternoon cat nap will not be happening.

I've also been having this horrible pain in my lower abdomin and so much pressure!! I don't remember this from the first pregnancy. Although I did work out until I was 8 months pregnant the first time I feel like I'm doing so much more this time around. I guess the difference is the fact that I worked for 8+ hours a day and got to just basically sit at a desk (with my feet up) and then just work out for about an hour or so. But this time around I'm chasing around a toddler, whom I might add, likes it if I climb up the jungle gym with him and go down the slide!! So who knows if I'm actually getting more of a work out this time around. All I know is the pain is worse. And that includes the pain in my hips!!!

At the end of the day I'm so done!! In fact right now I'm so done!!

But on the other hand I'm very very scared about the every 2 hour feedings that are coming my way very soon. Very scared!!! I have been so blessed with an awesome sleeper and know that it's not likely to happen twice. But if it's not one thing it's another. R was not that great of a sleeper in the begining of life and it didn't get better until around 9 months. Right about the time that I stopped working. So maybe because I'm not working this time around it won't take as long this time around.

Is it too late to change my mind?

First Blog

This is my first ever blog post, and I can't believe I am doing this. I have never been a blogger and honestly hate the term. But I have been reading a couple of people's posts and have grown to like the idea of getting to express my thoughts and feelings somewhere. I have alot going on in my life but have found that I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. I recently lost my mom unexpectedly and she was the one person I could always count on to chat with. It has really left a void in my life.

I have been a journaler every since I was freshman in highschool (16 years) and have over 50 of them. I currently kept three journals going at the same time. One for myself, one for my oldest son and one for my unborn son. And I have really fooled myself into thinking that maybe one day my sons will actually be interested in reading any of them. But writing has always helped me so I will continue to do it.

I am currently 29+ weeks pregnant with my second son. I have been a stay-at-home mom to my almost 2 year old for the last year and absolutely LOVE it. I never thought that I would. But when I was given a choice of either working longer hours or don't work here at all, I took the later option and hoped with all my heart that it would work out. Scared to death I started taking care of my son full time, something that I never thought I would be capible of doing. And it turned out to be the best thing that ever could have happened. I could never imagine going back to work now and can't imagine not spending everyday with my son.

Now I'm scared to death of taking care of 2 children. Two boys!! Very scary to me. I know that I can do it, but somehow I just keep saying to myself I can't believe I am going to be surrounded by boys the rest of my life.