This is my first ever blog post, and I can't believe I am doing this. I have never been a blogger and honestly hate the term. But I have been reading a couple of people's posts and have grown to like the idea of getting to express my thoughts and feelings somewhere. I have alot going on in my life but have found that I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. I recently lost my mom unexpectedly and she was the one person I could always count on to chat with. It has really left a void in my life.
I have been a journaler every since I was freshman in highschool (16 years) and have over 50 of them. I currently kept three journals going at the same time. One for myself, one for my oldest son and one for my unborn son. And I have really fooled myself into thinking that maybe one day my sons will actually be interested in reading any of them. But writing has always helped me so I will continue to do it.
I am currently 29+ weeks pregnant with my second son. I have been a stay-at-home mom to my almost 2 year old for the last year and absolutely LOVE it. I never thought that I would. But when I was given a choice of either working longer hours or don't work here at all, I took the later option and hoped with all my heart that it would work out. Scared to death I started taking care of my son full time, something that I never thought I would be capible of doing. And it turned out to be the best thing that ever could have happened. I could never imagine going back to work now and can't imagine not spending everyday with my son.
Now I'm scared to death of taking care of 2 children. Two boys!! Very scary to me. I know that I can do it, but somehow I just keep saying to myself I can't believe I am going to be surrounded by boys the rest of my life.
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